When did you tell people?

[deh]

I'm having a hard time deciding whether or not we should tell people our plans for EA. Only a few close friends and family even knew we were TTC, and I'm just not sure if I'm ready to share yet or not.

DH and I are generally pretty private people anyway, and I'm just not sure if we want to tell everyone after the fact or now, while we're still in the planning stages.

If you told people ahead of time, when did you talk about it and how did people react when you told them? Do you wish you would have done things differently?

Thanks in advance!

[EmbryoMom]

Our family and close friends knew from the beginning. People were pretty positive about it - at least no one said anything that we knew about! Our situation was fairly obvious since we are Caucasian and my daughter is half Asian. But, now that she's here and three years old, many people will remark about how much like me or my husband she looks. So, maybe it isn't as obvious as I thought it would be. We don't offer the information to new people that we meet. If it comes up naturally in the conversation we will talk about it, but it isn't the first thing we mention. I think we will let my daughter lead as she gets older in what she prefers people know.

I guess it really depends on what your situation is. I'd never hide it from my child, but I can understand not telling other people, especially if you know it would prejudice someone against your child.

Part of me believes that it is the child's story and he/she should be able to choose who to tell. The other side of me wants to shout from the rooftops what an amazing journey we had to her and encourage other people to pursue donating/adopting embryos.

If you aren't sure, I'd wait. You can always tell later, you can never take it back once you've told, though.

[deh]

Thanks EmbryoMom! I think we're going to keep it quiet for now while we think about it some more. We'll definitely tell the child when the time comes, though.

I guess one of our hold-ups is that we feel like we owe it to dh's parents to tell them before we share it at large, and it seems like we rarely have a private moment with them. So we have to work on finding the right time.

But I'm super excited about the whole thing!

[sissi]

Congrats on your EA. We adopted 12 embryos last Nov 2009 and cycled in March 2010 and our baby boy is due Nov 28. We can't wait until we see what he will look like.

I have been telling everybody about my EA except to the relatives funny hey! All my co-worker know (if they are interested) and my boss and all my friends but not my mother or mother in laws or any other relatives so far. My mother will dam me if I tell her so we won't.

[ceshellyn]

We were open with everyone about it. We went through 7 years of infertility before coming across Embryo Adoption. In that time we had one failed adoption and 2 failed IUI's. Our friends and family went through it all with us, so it just was right. We will tell our son about it little by little. Most people are shocked when they hear about EA because it is still a fairly new concept, although it is becoming more recognized. I think it all depends on your relationship with your family and what they already know about your attempts at ttc. My personal thought is family should be aware, but it really comes down to your choice.