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Post by EmbryoMom on Jun 26, 2010 14:52:49 GMT -5
I'm curious about the preference of people involved in embryo donation/adoption as to known or unknown donation. Our donors donated completely anonymously through our clinic. We would have preferred a known or semi-known donation, but were extremely happy to have our embryos!
The main reasons for our preferences were for medical information, because we would like to thank our donors, and we would like to be able to give our daughter more information or even the opportunity to meet them later.
What about others?
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Post by ash713 on Jun 26, 2010 19:47:43 GMT -5
I was torn in my choice between open or anonymous adoption. We both felt more comfortable with anonymous because we thought it would be a lot less confusing for the child/ren growing up. We didn't want the biological parents to be too involved to the point that the child was asking who their "real parents" were, you know? We ended up choosing anonymous mostly for that reason, but also because at that time, the NEDC charged an extra $3000 for an open adoption. (They have since changed that policy and now everyone pays that $3000 regardless of your decision.)
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Post by jenjen78 on Jun 28, 2010 20:29:43 GMT -5
We preferred known, and asked that our info be shared with the donor parents. Not sure if it will be though. We wanted our kids to have the option to look for the donors if they so choose.
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Post by Karaleen on Jun 29, 2010 17:36:21 GMT -5
We preferred anonymous but with the basic family medical history etc. Our clinic does anonymous mostly. However, our couple used an egg donor and her profile is 100% open to us and we have her name, photos, everything. She is open to being contacted if the child desires later in life. For now we will be completely open with our daughter about where she comes from, but noone other than me has seen the profiles or photos. My husband wanted it 100% anonymous with no pre-conceived ideas about how she should look etc. He knows general characteristics and that is all. We will leave it up to her later in life (teen years or beyond) if she wants to know more than how we came to get her.
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Post by rainbowspromise on Jul 1, 2010 23:05:12 GMT -5
We are in the process of receiving 4 embryos from a couple through a direct donation, or an open one, if you will. We met through another website and have since become friends on FB. We happen to be at the same clinic as well so that makes things much easier (the waiting list for our clinic's donor embryo program is 3 to 4 years). We've determined that we'll simply keep in contact through FB, sharing information like medical history, etc., as it pops up. We're pretty much just going to play things by ear as far as more contact in the future.... should both parties want to meet formally, we're open to it. My main concern tho is maintaining contact so that if any new medical issues pop up, everyone involved is aware of them.
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Post by tracey on Jul 21, 2010 21:38:35 GMT -5
We preferred anonymous, but it was a really hard decision for us. We know our first daughter's birthparents and had a great relationship with them until we were in process of adopting Sadie's birth sibling and came to find out that they were part of an adoption fraud. They were receiving money from us and another couple and promising the child to both. And then they didn't place it with either of us! So, we have had a lot of drama with the couple and felt that in this season, we really didn't want to have another family to process. Plus, my parents offered to pay for the embryo adoption since we used our savings for the failed adoption and we didn't want to ask them for the additional $3000 that was required with the NEDC to use Bethany's services. Ash713, we started our process with NEDC in April and they still say that it is only $3000 if you desire to go open. I wonder what happened earlier this year? I also found out while up there for the mock transfer that they are now allowing you to do a home study from different agencies - not just Bethany. We already had a home study (not from Bethany), so this wasn't an issue for us, but interesting to note. They just had us pay Bethany $300 to review it.
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Post by ceshellyn on Jan 9, 2011 14:55:53 GMT -5
We preferred open donation. We are friends with the family on facebook and I enjoy seeing updates from them as much as they do from us. We live in different states, and I think it is good one day our son will get to meet them and his three siblings. I really wanted it that way and it works for us.
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Post by newjacc on Oct 2, 2011 0:07:57 GMT -5
We had our embryos via our clinic so it was totally anonymous but since they used their egg donor we have info and photos of the lady but only bio from the dad. I really wanted my son to one day meet this brother and sister but it looks like he won't be able to. The donor is open to contact etc. so I asked that the clinic contact the donor to let her know but they said they tried to contact her without any results. So I think that maybe the donor embryo family might have asked that they don't contact the donor?? Who knows. I was really hopeful to have at least the donor meet our son or vice versa... I think one day they will change the laws in the US and everyone will have the right to know  |
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